Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Thanksgiving...Writing...Modeling

Greetings!

Here are some pictures from our Thanksgiving Vacation. My friend up there looked upon us at every meal in the dining room. We argued whether it was a dog or not. It looks like a dog.

Our private pool

The two lower pools, thank you very much.

The view

The terere circle.


Nov. 25. Journalist, Romance Novelist

So I wrote this thing. It’s evolved from a joke into a short story entitled, Hold Me Like a Guampa. (guampa: cup for terere) I’ll be reading it at the talent show at Thanksgiving.

Since I was in 7th grade yearbook I’ve been writing for credits or money, and now it has nothing officially to do with my role here. Suddenly no one except my mother is expecting me to write something. So suddenly I can write anything.

This is how you go from being a reporter to writing fake Peace Corps romance novels.

So my mom says, why don’t you just put some of it on your blog?

Because the wider your audience the more juicy stuff you have to cut out, in general, and because we’ve been asked not to embarrass the Peace Corps on our blogs (too late?), I’ll give you just a taste.

So it begins when a fellow volunteer sneaks through her window and she puts on Jack Johnson music and then...


She heard only the soft scrunching of her mattress as he sat beside her and fondled at the elastic ties at the hem of her pants. She peered over the top of her notebook to see him grinning up at her as he reached under and scrunched down her bug-repellant tube socks. She started to smirk as he ran his hand up her shin, bending hair back like tall grass in the summer breeze.

“You shaved this month,” he said.


Full copies available upon request, but the point is that, along with this blog, I get to write just because I like to. Once the label came off of what kind of writer I am, it just became so much more fun.

I can’t explain why art is important. But it is, and I love that. I love being in this town where all these people are feeding and clothing their families, doing very real-life things, all thanks to their craft. Sometimes I feel afraid that people are going to stop appreciating art, and all of us will have to leave what we love doing. (Not that the women never complain about how much work Ao Poi is.)

I recently read something that in my eyes will forever make it ok for me to be a writer. If I have to do other work to make money and eat, I will. But I’ll still be a writer.

It’s from Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning.” In the middle of talking about starvation and death, he writes about how, while working in the trenches, the prisoners would nudge each other to point out a beautiful sunset, or admire the mountains through the small window of the rail cars taking them to camps.

He then mentions art.


“Is there such a thing in a concentration camp?

...A kind of cabaret was formed from time to time. A hut was cleared out temporarily, a few wooden benches were pushed or nailed together...In the evening those who had fairly good positions in camp -- the Capos and the workers who did not have to leave camp on distant marches -- assembled there. They came to have a few laughs or perhaps to cry a little; anyway, to forget. There were songs, poems, jokes, some with underlying satire regarding the camp.

All were meant to help us forget, and they did help. The gatherings were so effective that a few ordinary prisoners went to see the cabaret in spite of their fatigue and even though they missed their daily portion of food by going.”


Nov. 25 - Modeling career continues

This morning I woke up, pulled my back doing yoga, showered, then took the scissors to a long skirt and headed out. I was hanging out at the coop when they got a call that the reporter from the newspaper ABC Color was coming out to take photos as a promotion for the upcoming Ao Poi fair.

It was so funny to see this scenario from the other end. The girls were running around cleaning up the place, folding shirts, putting on makeup. They told me to put on an Ao Poi shirt.

I couldn’t find one that fit me and that I liked (one of our projects is to change the designs to appeal to younger people).

My friend Leitdy showed up, the Ao Poi queen from last year. She’s did her hair up and her makeup, and I think, maybe I should go get an Ao Poi shirt that I know looks good on me.

I go to walk home and am intercepted by the coordinator of the show, who’s with the reporter. I tell her I’m going to get a shirt, and she grabs my hand and pulls me toward the coop and says we’ll find one there.

By this time another of the girls that will modeling shows up, in all her beautiful glory. They put her in an adorable little tank top and skirt. They put me in a shirt the same color of the one I had to wear when I worked at Astro Skate.

At this point the hilarity of how crappy I’m going to look next to these girls overrides my fear of seeing myself look like a hot pink mess in a national newspaper.

We take some posed shots, and then, against everything I stand for as a journalist, they made me pose like I was shopping for clothes.

Maybe that will be the picture that makes it. I hope so. It’s from farther away.


(Epilogue: The photo in the paper came out of me shopping, the caption calling me a client. I’ll never work in journalism again. My pulled back muscle was healed by my friend’s aunt, who took me in, closed all the doors, and rubbed a bombilla made of silver on it. )


Nov. 27: Thanksgiving

We had our annual Thanksgiving vacation in a beautiful hotel in Encarnation. We all met up in the capital, Asuncion, to catch the 6-hour bus. We rode south past fields of sunflowers, which look lime green as you zoom by.

My mock Peace Corps romance novel went over well. Other highlights of the talent show included the fake band Bad Chipa, singing their ode to Thanksgiving entitled Stuffing in my Pockets.

After the talent show there was a dance party. At three a.m. I got hot and organized a swim, high dive included, then we went back to the dance floor. At 5:30 a.m. the sun was up, and I said, OK, it’s a new day. I give. I went to bed, but I hear the others made it to breakfast at 7.

There were games and events, which I mostly ignored. Not to be a party pooper, but I just wanted to lay by the pool, so I did.

Much of the details will have to be left out of this one, but let’s just say it was a bunch of consenting adults who had been in the campo for a little too long, having some good, clean fun.


Dec. 2: Last Day in the Capital

The last day in Asuncion, you’re exhausted. You’ve been there days longer than you had planned, because the doctor couldn’t see you about your rash until tomorrow, or because it rained and the buses won’t run on the dirt road to your town, or just because someone said “C’mon, we’re going to the Brit Pub tonight.”

You have on your last pair of worn-once underwear, inside-out. Your jeans are soggy. Your armpit peels open every time you reach out a hand to hail a bus. That last day in Asuncion, that smell is you.

By the last day in Asuncion, the straps of your backpack feel like hands on your shoulders, pulling you down. Every time you heft the bag to the ground and open it up, to look for a shirt that doesn’t stink or for that other stash of cash you thought you had, the zipper unleashes the stench of anything you’ve sat in or spilled on yourself since you left site. Your toiletry bag is slimy.

You’ve already made the mistake of buying something large, like you forgot you no longer drive a car with a trunk. And so everywhere you go, you’re holding this bag without handles, that slips through your sweaty palms and slaps and spins against your legs as you walk.

Anywhere you stop, to wait for the rest of the group to catch up or to figure out on which side of the street you need to catch the bus, the pain resumes in your feet right where it left off. When you scratch the mosquito bites on your leg, your nails come up with scrape samplings the same color of the dirt that settles into the sidewalk cracks.

Your money is more gone than it should be. The remnants are thrown all over your bag, with old bus tickets and receipts, in whatever pocket it was easiest to toss, so that you could get out of the way of the next traveler trying to get on before the bus started rolling away.

That last day, the battery gauge on your iPod is but a red sliver, threatening to give out before the bus ride back to site. You’re wondering where you house key is these days.

On the last day, you’re so sick of feeling like a traveler that the last thing you want to do is travel more. And you already missed the afternoon bus, and the terminal is so far. So maybe this last day won’t be the last one after all.


Dec. 6: 1 a.m. Can’t sleep. So I’ll write about

Cockroaches. They’re big. When I see one on the wall, I have to kick off my shoes, jump on it’s back on wrestle it down with a chokehold until it stops struggling.


Mothers. I have about 50 mothers in town. Everywhere I go, someone is telling me my skin going to get burnt, and I should wear long sleeves. And obviously there’s the fat talk. But on the good side, when I was sick, they gave me lunches and left their cellphones when I didn’t have mine.


Feelings. When I was in college I walked by a Peace Corps information table, picked up a flier, read the first line and said, “Two years?!” Then made a sound like “Psha.” But I thought I had a feeling as I walked away. I just never told you that.


Food. If anyone has any great vegetarian recipes that can be made without tahini or whole green cardamom pods or whatever exotic spices that are stopping me from making all the recipes I have on hand, I’d love to hear them. My current menu consists of fried rice, rice and soy sauce, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, peanut butter and honey sandwich, or yogurt. I have all those dishes pretty much down, and I think I’m ready to expand my repertoire.


Being solo. Overall, I’m so happy here. I ride my bike through town, yelling Adios to all the people I know, stopping by shops and chatting and laughing, loving it.

But sometimes I remember how alone I am. I usually eat alone. I’m alone at night. I’m developing a habit of talking to myself that I have to check if the windows are open. I say “Mm-hmm” to when I agree with the person talking on my podcasts. The long space next to me in bed is filled with books laid open, my ipod and its cords, my computer.

And that can get hard. But other people, with children and dogs and jobs, would say they’d love to have a little cabin in the middle of South America to just be in alone, to read and cook and eat and enjoy music and do whatever the hell they want.

So when I feel down, I never let it last long. And when I am that person with the kids and the dogs and the errands, I’ll try to see the best in that too.



Dec. 10: But today...
In the cyber cafe and it´s pouring rain outside, so guess I´ll write a little bit. I have other blogs at home to up load, so I´ll add them to this post later.

I´ll just say what I did today:
So the Festival of Ao Poí, the local craft, starts this weekend. I have about six people coming to stay in my two-room house, so I´m slightly stressed. Oh yeah, and I´m out of money, my credit card is expired, and I tried to remember the pin to my ATM card so many times that I locked the card up. So life´s a little tricky.

This morning I went to Villarica to pick up a hair curler, some makeup and other things. Then I realized how broke I was and just got some food.

I was also charged a 20 mil naiveté tax: A while ago when they delivered my furniture, I didn´t have exact change and gave the guy 20 mil extra. I told him to tell his boss that I would be back to buy more furniture and he could just take 20 off then. So I went into today to buy a new plastic chair (clumsy tax: 40 mil for standing on a chair and breaking it). And, surprise, the boss knew nothing of the 20 mil.

I had lunch with Brennan and Mary, the volunteers from Villarica. Then I went to the air-conditioned café attached to the grocery store to use internet there. I saw two girls sitting by the windows with huge packs, practically screaming out Peace Corps. I started talking to them and, yes, they were girls from the new group, meaning we´re not the newbies anymore. They´ve finished training and were on their way to their new sites.

I rode back in the little vans that run between Villarica and Yataity. My next door neighbors, who I consider to be my new host family, were on the bus. They had loaned me the chair that I broke, and they yelled at me for buying a new one, but I felt I should.

I had to bring some more fabric to the girl making my clothes for the Ao Poí fashion show, in her studio littered with fabric scraps. She made me a great black dress that I had to keep trying on. She´d mark it and then go to the machine and fix it and come back and I´d try it on again.

I had modeling practice at 3:30 for the Ao Poí fashion show. I did not know this stuff would be so serious when I agreed to do it. Ok, so I would have done it anyway, if only for my friend Kati as some kind of full circle conclusion to our addiction to the reality tv series America´s Next Top Model. I am one step closer to being Paraguay´s next top model.

At the beginning of the practice, the woman in charge asked that we all pray to God that the show goes well. We will do our part, and Jesus will do his part, she said.

We practiced for two and a half hours, for the love. Then she said that for the show, which starts at 9:45 p.m., we have to get our hair done at 10:30 a.m., then sit around all day together. Hey, it´s the prom. I don´t think my friends coming into town would like it if I ditched them all day Saturday, so I´m going to see if I can get out of it.

I had just a second to be home, then I had to come here to the internet cafe and see if my new pin number to my ATM card had arrived, but no. Now it´s off to the seamstress again for my other clothes.

Tomorrow another practice, I have to clean my house, try to get someone to put a door on my bathroom and fix my shower head. I have a computer class and have to make a poster for the cooperative´s stand.



Girls dancing with their embroidery rings

First Lady arrives

My friend Leidyd entertaining the First Lady

People taking photos with Leidyd


Dec. 13: Festival begins.

Friday morning I woke up and rolled out of bed for the Inauguration of the Ao Poi Festival. I got on my bike, and, passing my neighbor she pointed up, I noticed the sound of a helicopter. I continued riding and realized I was joining the flow of kids on bikes trying to arrive at the landing. So I went with.

Right in front of our little cemetery landed a huge military helicopter, and out came an entourage with the First Lady, who’s actually the sister of the president, wearing pink.

I rode to the coop, and Leitdy was there in all her Ao Poi Queen glory, looking gorgeous. Old ladies were posing for pictures with her.

I had thrown on a t-shirt, then I arrived to see that everyone else was in their Ao Poi best. At the ceremony they sat Leidyd next to the First Lady to chat. The show consisted of some dancing with embroidery rings as props and fake stitching dance moves. The older girls danced with bottles on their heads.

While running around preparing, I stopped for some terere and had my first 20-minute chat almost entirely in Guarani. Go me.

Guarani lesson from Sasha


Dec. 14: I don’t get out of bed for less than 10,000 Guaranis a day.

So all was crazy Saturday. Workmen were setting up the T-shaped catwalk in the plaza, the woman who was organizing the show was running around flailing a list of the models and yelling directions in Spanish over the Shania Twain music that we were walking to.

I had a bunch of friends coming into town to stock up on Ao Poi Christmas gifts, so there was house cleaning to be done on top of decorating the Coop, the endless modeling practices and my regular computer classes and such.

But in the middle of the craziness, I did my best to remain calm.

I asked my friend Courtney to do my makeup, but I was commandeered by the lady in charge. As she started using black eyeshadow, I could hear Courtney make a little noise like, “Oh, no.”

But it came out well.

The show was in the plaza with the raised stage, lights on scaffolding, huge speakers and a tarped dressing room backstage. There were three hairdressers in the dressing room teasing and spraying.

I had all my clothes made for me. “Bien sexy” said the seamstress when I’d tried them on that day.

Except the first round. They had us in “tunics”, which I think was a throw to the past. Mine was like a white sack with Ao Poi sleeves, but other girls just threw on cloth pinned around them. This stuff was really transparent and holey, so a lot of them looked like they were in their bra and thong covered in a screen.

As one girl went out, I saw a kid who looked about 13 sitting to the left of the stage, with a camera. Right as she did a turn, he put it out at arm’s length. After the flash he brought it in to see how the shot came out, and gave the Spanish equivalent of a “Yesssss!!!” I’m guessing it was a perfect butt shot.

In between each walk, people were tugging at me to help me undress. Girls were sliding sideways past each other and the racks of clothes, looking for lip gloss or a shirt.

The hairdressers would tell you to sit, then change your hair in some way, pinning it here and there. I didn’t even have time to check how I looked before I was out again.

It was just like on tv and I had to chuckle about fulfilling that girlhood fantasy of being a runway model ... in the Peace Corps.

I roped my friend Brennan into modeling with me, so he was back there trying to hide behind a rack of clothes. We walked out together once, and did hilarious over-the-top poses that had the crowd cheering.

The show ended up going until 1:30 in the morning. I came off the stage to my friends, who had been drinking since I left them at dinner to go get ready.


The red dress.


Syncronated turns with my friend Tamara. Love this black dress, and I paid for it all so I get to keep it.


Tamara, who ended up being crowned the new Ao Poí queen.


You can do a lot with Ao Poí.


The grand finale!


There are more photos at my friend´s site. If I get my hands on some other ones I´ll upload them later.


After the show is the afterparty.

We got back to my house and realized we had no options for buying beer. Hmm. I messaged my next door neighbor buddy and asked him what we should do. He told me to go to a store a few blocks from my house and just clap, that the guy didn’t mind being woken up.

By this time it was 2:30 a.m. Me, and my friends Rebecca and Shola are just standing on a dark street in front of a dark house in a silent residential neighborhood. And we just started clapping. Nothing. We clap again. I’m thinking, “I don’t know about this.”

Can you imagine going to the manager of Publix’s house at 2:30 in the morning and waking him up because you want more beer? You’d be arrested.

But after about five minutes, the light inside came on and the door opened. We were greeted with a smile from a sleepy, shirtless man who chatted with us as we roamed around and bought beers and little cakes and cigarettes, spending about 100,000 Gs, a good sale for him. By the time we were done other late-nighters had seen that they were open and were coming in the door. As a side-note, there are about 5 little stores within a block of my house. I now where my loyalty lies.

We stayed up until about 4, then 10 people slept in my two rooms. My next door neighbor Oscar said he came by on his way home from partying, at about 7 a.m., and said he wish he’d had a camera when he saw us through the window, all lined up and filling up nearly all the floor space in the house.


Dec. 15: Hello Gov’na

We went to the Governor’s office to meet him. We toured through the building and they told us that it was built durning the Strossner era and was meant to be very closed off and intimidating. The police were there to torture people. There’s still a police office there, but no torture.

They told us they were looking at reparations for people who had been tortured and killed. Right now they’re focusing on investigating in a few towns, including Yataity. I was like, wow, people in my little crafty town were tortured and killed under their government not too long ago. And here I’m like “I work for the government! I’m here to help!”

The memory of this era still keeps people from going to meetings, as that’s where many of the spies were. Creepy.

We met with the governor who was very nice and told us he could help us with projects and even share some of the costs. We’ll see how true that turns out to be.


Dec. 16: On the work front

It’s not all fun and games, if that’s the way I’m making it sound. My projects are forming and I think I’ll be really busy once the new year starts.

I’m starting a radio program with my buddy Brennan, who lives in Villarrica. We’re going to play some American music that they like here (Guns N’ Roses and Queen) and explain the lyrics. We’re going to play these pre-recorded educational bits. We’re going to talk about resources around town, such as centers for victims of domestic abuse. Hopefully once my language is up I’ll do some stories, too, recorded on the Edirol R-09 MP3 recorder I brought down. Gettin’ a little experience on the way to my dream of writing for This American Life (just thought I’d throw that out there in case someone is second cousins with Ira Glass.)

I’m trying to work with this committee that wants to start a library, but in the four months since I’ve arrived, they have yet to have a meeting. However I just heard that there’s some new money to apply for coming in January, so that got the head guy a little more excited. I just love the feeling of browsing around a library, and I that’s one of the best things I think I could leave behind here.

I’m going to start an English class out of my house for people who have studied English for a long time buy need to practice. I will teach them things like “What’s up happenin’ hot stuff?” and “Who ganked my last pizza slice?”

And finally, yet most important, there’s my work with the Coop. My computer classes are going well. There have been a lot of opportunities to use the class to actually do something, like make a poster for the stand at the festival.

Computer class today, I decided we’d write a letter to the governor about trying to establish a Web site and delicately asking for some funds. It took us two hours, but we used a very nice form letter and even printed an envelope. I’ll be delivering it by hand this week.

It’s been tough trying to figure out exacting how we’re going to set up this site, who’s going to manage it, how much exporting costs and all that, but its going poco a poco, little by little.


Obama: Someone asked me if Obama meant "He changed" in Guarani. Well, "ba" is the verb to move. "O" is the third person indicator. "ma" is what you tag on to verbs to mean "already." So it means "he moved already." Leading to this joke:


A Paraguayan went to the White House and wanted to talk to George Bush. He found a Paraguayan security guard and demanded to speak to Bush. "He's not here," said the guard. "Obama."


Get it? Ok, well, if you ever go to Paraguay, just know it kills here.




This is just a great pic of Don Portillo in front of the tatakua, where you cook chipa

Monday, November 24, 2008

Building a school...Photos of pretty things and carnage and inappropriate school materials


Protecting my face from the sun, no matter how dorky it makes me look.


Hello all! This month I’m super busy, actually. Some let me just throw some stuff at ya. Life is great and I´m really happy on my little street. Here’s some of the stuff that’s going on lately:


13 Nov. In the hills

I went with a group of five other volunteers to help build a school up into the hills that I only before saw from a distance.

Having covered education as a reporter in St. Johns County, Fl, I’m used to talk of million-dollar plans and technology. This school was just two leaky rooms with sunlight spraying in from between the old boards of wood.

But the kids lived in paradise. This town is in Independiencia, which is partially a German settlement. It’s a two-hour bus ride from my house, then an hour walk up red dirt into green, where the second-highest point in Paragauy looms in the distance.

We stopped by a man’s house to do a radio show first. Half the area is curtained off for his bed and tv. The volunteer there, Karen, is about to finish her service. Her Guarani was inspiring.

We got to the house after a long walk uphill, sat on the porch exhausted and debated the best kinds of yerba for terere.

The work we did at the school was basically moving stuff. We moved a huge stack of bricks so that they could dry and be used for the floor. We moved a huge stack of rocks to make way for the dirt to be brought in. We moved lots of moist red dirt in grass-covered clumps onto a ox-drawn cart then into the school’s floor.

The whole time I was marveling at how beautiful the place was. Green green green. My friend bathed in a stream. I went to bathe there but fell on my butt in the mud. Then I decided that I was more of a shower girl. Sometimes you wonder if you’re going to do something just for the war story. “When I was in the Peace Corps, I bathed in a muddy stream!” When I was in the Peace Corps, I still preferred a clean shower over a muddy stream.

We did swim in a gorgeous river though. Some cute kids came down and showed off, jumping off the rocks. I thought, what a beautiful little place to grow up.

But then walking back up, we saw yet another abandoned house, its owners working in Buenos Aires. And these kids, who get the benefit of the education of nature, have to learn about everything else in that depressing schoolhouse. Does simplicity always mean poverty? Does opportunity always mean complications?

Pictures from Independencia:
Karen in her house

The view from her front porch

A Ind. street

Inside a classroom of the current school

The new brick school being built next to the old wood one. In the background, the 2nd highest point in Paraguay.

Dramatic rock-throwing shot.

My new boyfriend, Prince Elroy. More delicious than cute, Elroy will be the main dish at Karen´s going away party.


Another thing I want to talk about is Language.

The language thing is cool right now. Never before in my life have I been like, hmm, which language will we be speaking today?

A few of us were at dinner in Villarica, the nearby city, when a volunteer from Koika showed up. Koika is the Korean Peace Corps equivalent. There’s also Jika from Japan.

The volunteer, a friend of the volunteers in VR, sat down to join us, and immediately the conversation went Spanish. It’s funny that it’s not the native language of anyone, but it’s where we all intersect.

I have this other volunteer friend Brandon who only speaks Guarani, no spanish. Since Guarani seems like the second level to me, it’s funny when he’s spouting off in perfect Guarani, then someone says something in Spanish, and he’s like, “What did he say?”

There are parties with Paraguayans, where Guarani and English and Spanish are all floating around. My Pyan buddies love to say stuff to me in English and squeal with delight. “Howayou?” “Ilovyou” “My nae is”

Then there are the Spanish and Guarani words that are part of our mixed vocabulary of the PC Py Volunteer:

asado: barbecue

latrado: sneaky

guapo: hard-working

lindo: neat, pretty

huerta: garden

jahatama (or jaha): let’s go



Sometimes the Peace Corps can be like High School

We are the freshman, excited, arriving on time with our pencils sharpened. I’m aware of this most when I’m hanging out with the seniors, cool and jaded and preparing to move on, filled with advice. There are those who have extended, like the fifth-year senior, and you wonder what they’re still doing here and if they don’t have a life to get to, but then again who would really want to leave?

There are the bad kids (and how do I always seem to enjoy their company most?) There are the goody-two-shoes, the loners, the jocks. There are the couples.

There’s the gossip. Take away our daily intake of Paris Hilton news, and we don’t know what the hell to talk about other than who made out at the last fiesta.

My social life is like high school, at least in Paraguay. I spoke with one of the evacuated volunteers from Bolivia, and she told me she saw other volunteers there three or four times a year. Here, it’s like every weekend there’s some party, some trip to be taken or not.

And little did I know that there’s a high schooler still alive inside of me, wanting to go to every party, wanting to know everyone. This saturday I choose to stay in site, sure that inside jokes were being formed at the party in Asuncion.

But Peace Corps is not a popularity contest. High School wasn’t either, right?

Luckily, I love my site. And, like I had to remember that I was there to learn in high school, I have to remember that I´m here to know Paraguay and to help people.


And now more photos of life in Yataity and other random things that made me pull out my camera.


The ladies from next door in the terere circle of plastic chairs.



The Recycled Grill

This is Oscar from next door with a grill he just made out of a washing machine, the legs of a chair and a bike chain.

Danny and Vivi

This is Danny, the little three-year-old who runs around calling me tia, and Vivi, somehow related to my next door neighbors, on the playground in my back yard.



First Communion

I went to the first communion of my next-door neighbor girl, Vanessa. She’s in the middle. All the girls had on their Ao Poi dresses.



The Best Notebook Cover Ever
This is the notebook I bought for my friend Timmy for his birthday. It was just too creepy to pass up. Can you believe this was meant for a young boy? Look at the butt cheeks on that man!


Carne Man

We were walking to the bus stop in Aveiro, the host community where we had our training. We recently went back for a few days to visit and have a few sessions of language class. On the way to the routa, there’s always this guy with a cart, just hacking up meat on the side of the road there. Friday Matteo, Pooja and I were walking together, engrossed in a heavy political conversation, when out of the corner of my eye I just caught this red, skinned cow’s head teeming with flies. It was just too good. So I had to take some shots. Can you see why I’m edging toward vegetarianism?

This photo just about made my day. I thought it was so crazy. But the funniest thing is when I show it to Pyans. They’re like: Yeah, so?


Modeling Practice

The Ao Poi festival is coming in December, and for a while the board members of the cooperative have been joking about me modeling in the Ao Poi fashion show. Well now the joke has come to life. After the discussion about how, although my butt is big (this is always accompanied by hands of the speaker held out to the side of his or her butt for emphasis), the rest of my body is ok. So it looks like I will be walking down the runway with the skinny, 18-year-old Paraguayan girls.

I had some anxiety about this, as I am 26, big-boned, and recent victim of a diet of pig fat and breaded fried meat. But I said whatever! It’s my policy that when a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity presents itself, I take the chance. I have the rest of my life to not model in an Ao Poi fashion show in Paraguay.

We had our first practice this morning. These people are serious. You start with your left foot bent out, with the heel of your right foot meeting it in the middle on the inside. Don’t bend you knees. Keep your head up. Walk natural. One turn in the middle, pose at the end, walk to the left, then the right, pose at the back of the stage, and done.

The first time I walked, the woman said that it didn’t seem like my first time. I believe she’s underestimated the hours I’ve spent watching America’s Next Top Model. Could I be one step closer to being Paraguay’s Next Top Model?

Probably not. They had some bride’s dresses that were too big for the other girls, who are about 102 pounds, so they wanted me to try it on. I did. Of course, it didn’t fit. I walked out with the older woman running the show, who announced to all, “Ella no entra. Muy gorda es.” (She didn’t fit. She’s very fat.)

I seem to have two choices in the face of all this talk about my body, the one to be to care about it, but that would involve dieting. I choose to view it as exposure therapy. The more I hear people talk about it, the more I’m like, whatever. Someone tells me I'm skinnier at lunch, then by dinner time two others are talking about how I must be happy because I've gotten so much fatter. I feel less sensitive about it, but then why do I write about it so much? I think the underlying message is that it’s just your body. What does it matter so much? Because all my life, steeping in our culture, I’ve absorbed the message that we are our bodies. I’ll know I’ve risen above that when I really stop caring what people say about this thing I live in.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Getting my own house

Oct. 23, 2008: Che rogare (My future house)
After a downpour yesterday, the family preparing my house discovered that the straw roof leaked. We inspected and I saw that yes, if you stand at the right angle, spots of sunlight come through above the beams.
This gave me eight days to find and prepare a new house, sans Craigslist. It actually turned out to be kind of fun, visiting all the people I know around town, telling them I was looking for a house. Almost everyone knew a señora just a few blocks away who might have a place.
I walked all around town, finally plopping myself down at the counter of Ña. Lourdes, drinking a mil coke in a glass bottle with a straw.
“Sabes con quien necesitas hablar?” she said, and I love that this literally translates to Do you know who you need to talk to? It’s just such familiar phrasing.
The woman down the street had a place, she said, so I went and spoke with her, sweaty from tromping around all day long.
She has a little house, next to hers. It’s got a small living room/kitchen, a modern bathroom (which the other house was missing), and a bedroom. That’s it. I’d guess 400 sq. ft. There’s a bunch of bananas hanging right there where you open the back door. There’s room for a garden and there’s a metal playground. There’s a bed and a “sofa.” You’d understand the quotes if you ever sat on a sofa in Paraguay.
It seems like a perfect just-me little place.
The rent’s 200 mil (about 50 bucks). I’m going to see my other options, just so I don’t rush into a decision, but it seems like this might be the place.

Oct. 24: A beautiful day in the neighborhood.
The sun was shining, birds were chirping, terere was flowing like wine, and I was twirling about my finger the key to my very own house.
I went over to confirm with the woman that yes, I would love the little house, which turns out to be 293 sq. ft. little.
The owner and her two daughters were hosing down the tile and scrubbing when I showed up. There was another woman helping and a little three-year-old boy playing in the water. When I walked up he said “tia” (aunt) and put his hands together like he was praying. Kids do this to their older relatives, who in turn give them a quick sign of the cross, so that’s what I did.
We drank t-ray and the girls looked at the photos in my camera. The younger one is adorable and very curious. When they asked me if I had a computer and I said yes, she gave a little squeal and put her head on my shoulder.
The little boy kept shooting me with his gun, then we had a tickle fight, then I taught him high-five, low-five, fist.
Monday I’m going with Mariela to Villarica to buy my appliances for my 11 ft. x 11 ft. living room/kitchen/dining room.

Oct. 28: Che añe’e Guaraníme! (I’m going to speak Guarani (dammit)!)
I found a Guaraní tutor and it’s actually coming along. It’s been like a locomotive leaving the station, lots of noise and smoke and little movement until...it...finally...Yes! It’s moving.
It’s funny learning two languages back-to-back, like an experience echoing itself.
I can recognize where I am. In Guaraní, I’m in the stage where I recognize words here and there, and I can form some sentences. But I have to say to myself, ok, this is what I want to say, do I know that in Guarani? Yes, ok, wait. Arms out as if to steady myself. “Ahata akaru nde rogape.” (I’m going to eat lunch at your house.) And each completed sentence or recognized word warrants a tiny celebration.
Most of us can either chose to learn Guarani or not. Another volunteer said to me, “You’re never going to use it again,” but it had the same ring as “We’re all going to die anyway.”
To not learn it would mean sitting around for countless conversations where I remain the outsider. I may never use it again, but I’m here now. This is the language, this is the experience.
So I’m going for it. The good news is I get to use all those vowels, the ô and the ũ and the ĩ, with the party hats and fake mustaches.
Now I’m off to memorize words such as yvyty, yvytu, yvoty, and yvyra. That’s hill, wind, flower and wood to you.

Oct. 30: My people
Back home, I didn’t associate strongly with any group. I guess that just comes with being a mix in the majority.
So I’ve gotten my first taste of stereotyping, where people take my entire country and its history, and somehow it’s all contained in me.
“You’re country had slaves, right?” Uh, yeah.
“Americans take advantage of immigrants.” Um, sometimes.
Today someone said something like all Americans hate black people. She was basically saying that I hated black people, and really for the first time, I felt like, “Hey, not fair! You didn’t even ask me.” I said, “We’re about to have a black president!”
Recently, someone asked me: “People from America don’t cry much for their dead, right?” This hit close, as almost a personal insult that I didn’t care about family members who died. I put a surprised look on my face and said, “Yes, we do.”
“Aah, then in that way we are alike,” said my friend.
Today I explained to the people I was terere-ing with that in each country, you are going to find good people and bad people.
Already the Paraguayans, to me, are not Paraguayans. They’re just people. I know that sounds like a public service announcement, but it’s true. I can’t remember what it was like to think differently. Yes, on top of everything, there’s culture. But most people never get the chance to look past that.

Nov. 7: Roga Sweet Roga
This morning I arrived at my very own house with my stuff, which has metasticized from two backpacks full of stuff to a collection that would barely fit in my host sister’s car. We loaded my stuff, they left, I went into my room and did a jump skip, yelling “My house, my house, my own _ house!” They I kicked up my leg and touched my toes with my fingers like a cheerleader.
Now I have to live on my own. In six months I haven’t washed a dish or a piece of clothing, practically. I hope I remember how it all works. My neighbors are going to see the smoke from my burning stove and come in to see me poking the floor with a broom, weeping.
I went shopping today, like a big girl. I got a industrial-looking cart from the front of the shop, then walked in and realized that all the other shoppers had normal carts. I had taken the kind the baggers use to go out to the cars. So then I wheeled it back up front, where all the check-out people laughed at me. Luckily nothing could bring me down on move-in day.
For food I got Fruit Loops, yerba, vegetables and juice packets. I got dish gloves, and I know I’m going to get laughed at. The truth is that I hate house work, but I could inseminate a cow for all I care as long as I have dish gloves on, so I got them.
This grocery store also has housewares, a problem area for my shopping addiction. This is the usually the part where I buy way too much stuff. I stand there in front of the dishes, wondering which ones express my personality most accurately while matching the decor and mood of my home. Then I buy all these little kitchen gadgets for making recipes I’ll never make.
I did this exact thing when I moved into my first house after college. When I moved out, selling everything, I laughed out loud when I found an unused rolling pin.
So today I tried very hard to stick to the basics, to get the cheapest version of only things I need. Because I am not my flatwear.
As I was walking around, a woman saw my plates in my cart and said to her friend, Ooh, que lindo (How pretty.) Yes, thank you, I picked them out myself.
One of the funny things about Paraguay is that you can’t always buy things that express who you are. One great example is notebooks. Since the biggest buyer of notebooks are kids, they all have kiddie designs. So everyone from security guards to professors to shop owners write their notes on books with cartoons or Mickey Mouse or the beaming cast of High School Musical 2.
I had hoped to get rid of all the props we used to get across the theme of who we are. Because last time, I went into debt trying to buy everything that would make me feel like an adult. (Don’t forget it has to be brushed steel!)
But my house is cute, for sure, and again, I worry I’ve already spent too much on it. But I’m getting better.
Home Depot still sends me emails, promising that they can help me make my dream kitchen come true. At least I know, and love, that I don’t dream about kitchens anymore.


House update: 1st night after dinner.
They came today and installed a ceiling fan in my bedroom. The owner lady said as soon as her husband gets paid they’ll put one in the living room/kitchen/dining room/study.
There’s no sink in the other room, so I planned on washing my dishes with a spicket outside. I did that tonight, and the owner, who lives next door, came over and told me ... something. I admit it -- I’m a dirty faker. Sometimes I just smile and nod.
Later I see what she’s talking about. She had her husband put a spicket in the bathroom where normally the tub faucet would go if this country had bath tubs. She means for me to wash my dishes and my vegetables in the shower.
Isn’t there a Seinfeld about this?
Now, I know water is water. And a faucet is a faucet and nothing is tecnically touching, there’s just something wrong about this. There are just certain activities that go down in the toilet inches from my shower that I don’t want associated with washing my spoons.
As I was setting up to wash my dishes, strapped my Paraguyan-size yellow rubber gloves on my American Amazon hand and sat down on plastic seat with my shower shoes on, I just kept saying, “Oh gross. This is gross. This isn’t right.”
I close the toilet lid because it’s hungry mouth was looking at me. I set my bottle of blue dish soap on top of it.
We’re so taught from Clorox’s commercials that everything should be so sparkling clean. But it’s just not true. I’ll get over washing my dishes just inches from my toilet, with the help of this quote from Fast Food Nation, about the effect of washing meat in the kitchen:
“A series of test conducted by Charles Gerba, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona, discovered far more fecal bacteria in the average American kitchen sink that on the average American toilet seat. According to Gerba, ‘You’d be better off eating a carrot stick that fell in your toilet than one that fell in your sink.’”

Nov. 9: En Casa.
It seems like overnight, one night in my house, I went from a guest to a resident. I walk down the streets with my little bag of lettuce. I’ve acquired a straw hat.
I’m feeling Peace Corps: opening cans of tuna with my Leatherman, bird poop on my sheet from drying in the sun, measuring my rice in my Nalgene bottle.
I can’t go two blocks without sitting down in several groups to chat or drink t-ray.
It’s always, “Egaupy,” “Take a seat.”
I love my neighbors, the family that owns the house. There’s a husband and wife, a 21-year-old son, and daughters 18 and 11 years old. I went over for asado today and brought the salad like a good neighbor. We had a talk about racism and the history of the U.S. and why this election is so important.
Tonight they invited me over for dinner. I saw some strings on the grill and said, What part is this? And they said Tripe. And I said Oh No!
We all had a good laugh about it while they heated up some meat for me. They are a family that loves to joke around, so I feel at home.
I poked the inside of their intenstines they were eating and said “What is that?” “Este es caca.” said the 11 year old in her matter-of-fact way.
The son said to me tonight that when he talks to me he feels lower, inferior. I told him that I too feel lower than some people, when I think that they are more intelligent or they have nicer things. I told him that will never end, unless he just decides that he is not inferior.
And now I’m sitting in my house. A weird scratching noise was freaking me out, so I opened my front door and there were two horses right out front, chewing the grass. When they saw me they turned and clopped away on the cobblestone. 


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Aregua and Obama



Aregua
Hello everyone,I have had a beautiful couple of days. We went to Aregua for a halloween party and I was Miss Peace Corps, dressing in my typical volunteer outfit with a sash. A little lame, but the best I could do at the time. After the party I'll just say I hung out in Aregua for "a little while." I think you can see why from the photos.
We drank terere, we had ice cream, we cooked, we read, we laid in the hammock. We took turns putting our iPods into the speaker dock and playing whatever chill music we had, Beck and Feist and Bon Iver and Radiohead, while the bugs crawled over the stacks of our cards as we played hearts. People kept saying, I kept saying, ok, I have to leave. Then it would rain, or then someone would say, "But we're going to have Indian food for dinner."
I had the kind of time you hope to buy with all that vacation savings. For all those women freaking out that you're not married yet: Alone is another word for free.


Obama!
Last night in Asuncion we gathered to eat grilled food and watch the elections on CNN en Espanol. My eyes just kept tearing up as I realized it's possible, it's happening, that Obama is winning. And they continue to water, as I read the news today. Behind it all in my mind are two books I recently read.
The first, "The Known World" by Edward P. Jones, about slave culture in Virginia, about the buying and selling of humans called property. Then "Black Like Me" by John Howard Griffin, by a white man who traveled the segregated South in 1960 after making his skin dark, and saw what it was like to be treated like walking garbage for his skin color. I recommend both books.
And now, in 2008, I see that we've come so far as a nation that we chose as our leader someone who could have been bought when our nation started, and someone who couldn't have sat next to me on a bus just fifty years ago.
I just sat there and thought that whatever force it is that can break through hundreds of years of terrible legacy to change this world for the better, into a more unified, more intelligent, more peaceful place, this is what I want my life to be about. Here, I can look around and say, Yes, I am a soldier in that army.

Now let's look at pretty things...
The lake


Flower on a tree


A secret castle near the lake



Paraguayan dock graffiti



My friend Josh's house. He has a gardener.

This lady lives in Josh's yard. His house belongs to an artist, with her workshop right next door.



New buddies Josh and Jenny during the halloween party


Peace Corps feet of my friend Stu. I'm on my way there, Birks style



The view from a Paraguayan bus ride

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Pictures of my little town

Taking pics on a day when life is beautiful.


A scene I pass on my way to the coop.


A Yataity street

My mud hut


The view through my front window